My Always

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Subject:	Okay
Time:	11:02 am
Current Mood:	weird

Okay to most of you this seems stupid but for some reason I'm really worried about tomorrow. It's a simple surgery that's done every day without complications, but I've never had an operation before so I guess I'm allowed to be scared.
I haven't been sleeping properly because of the nightmares I keep having. In them I either die on the operating table or they find they've fucked up the operation and I die a few days later in a painful way, surrounded by my friends and family who can't do anything to help me.
I dont like feeling like this. I don't like not being happy. I just want to go back to being happy. :(

As I said, most of you probably think this is a really stupid and exaggerated thing to do, but you just never know what can happen so I decided to post a little message to my friends. I don't think I could think of anything worse then for something to go wrong and then I'd never be able to tell people what they meant to me.

This is going to look like some really lame 'goodbye' post but it's not really.. I just.. i dont know I'll just shutup and give you all a little message to show you that I care about you, so even if nothing goes wrong and my operation is 100% fine then you'll know that I love you anyway! :D

Bunney - Serena (boy must be getting serious now, I used your real name!), you're a beautiful person inside and out. I think it's funny that you ended up being stuck with the little peaker at eckythump who clung to you :P You're one of the few people I can talk comfortably with about anything and everything. I'm pretty sure you and Jax are the only two people know me the best, both in slightly different ways. You got me addicted to Boost Bars! Also your smses while I was in hospital really cheered me up, it was nice to have someone to talk to.
You're an angel :)

Jacqui - I hope one day you can see for yourself what everyone else sees in you jacqui, you're wonderful. You bring a lot of happiness into other people's lives, I just wish there was a way we could bring more into yours. You remind me of all sorts of adorable little things (marshmallows, jellybeans, munchkins) and I could just squash you with hugs (I did! :D ).

Connar - aha little miss rainbow brite, where do I start? :) you're such a great person and you remind me of a ray of sunshine! The best rave I ever went to, I spent with you! You're so much fun and I hope to have many more fun times you with - you better be at my birthday!! :)

Ben - Although we don't speak often, I have a lot of respect for you. You were one of the first echilders to become a friend and you helped me take the step to finally going to my first rave. You're a turd at times but I do count you as a good friend :) Look after krystal, she's only little!

Bex - well Blossom I don't know you that well but from what I do know, you're gorgeous. You never seem to have a bad thing to say about anyone or anything, you seem to always find the good in a person or situation. You're like a little luv bubble! I hope things work out for you soon sweetie, I know it's hard on you and the other people involved. *hugs* keep your chin up and remember to smile!

Kasey - hey babe, or should i call you little miss match maker?? I love our little catch up gossip sessions at raves - or should I say, I love listening while you chatter on! It always cracks me up how you'll start on one subject and within 15min you've told me the entire life stories of everyone involved but completely forgotten to tell me what you were originally talking about!
I like the fact you don't take shit from anyone, you seem to be a very strong person who knows what she wants. Good luck with moo moos! ;)

Xara - you're a sweet little girl who seems to be trying to balance the weight of the world on your shoulders - remember to rest and enjoy life hun. Don't stress too much on the little things, you're only young. I hardly know you at all so I guess I don't have a right to say much on anything, but I care a lot about someone who cares a lot about you so that makes me care about you too :)

Chris/Frosty - I havent had a chance to hang out with you much or get to know you but from what I know you're a great guy. You're one of the nicest guys I know and you give great cuddles! I'm sorry for almost kicking you in the nuts :P I promise next time I won't miss! muahaha.
We'll have to have that video day when I'm feeling better (cos you won't enjoy sushi day! :P ).

Krystal - PLUR! Stay sweet krystal, even though you're far from innocent don't let me know that!! :P I think I'd probably faint if I knew half the things you got up to so I'll just pretend you spend your days finger painting and playing with playdough instead :D you remind me of a little poptart - an apple cinnamon one! :) keep ben out of trouble

Paige and Danielle - how could I possibly give you two seperate paragraphs?? :P you guys are awesome and you're like identical twins who look nothing alike :D Danielle please don't lose your PLUR!! Ask Paige to share her PLUR with you :)
You're so blonde Danielle so I thought I'd give you some tips on how to get through a day safely (hehe) - remember to press the button at the cross walk, don't walk into poles, don't talk to strangers, don't poke things in toasters and stay away from queer dogs!!

Ivan/Gingerbreadman - you were the first echilder I ever met! I just want you to know that even though we rarely speak now, I still count you as a friend. You helped me out when I needed help - I know it sounds silly but if you hadn't tried to put a stop to me doing base then I don't know if I ever would have. Thank you so much for that, it really means a lot. *hugs*

Blah there's a million other people I have things to say to (Focus, Kazza, TimmyV, Shaun, Hannah, Dougie, Cosmo, Ness
and quite a few others who I've forgotten to mention).
I'm sorry if I forgot you on this page, Don't take it personally please. I love you all and if I didn't then we wouldnt be friends! I've learnt that life is too short to put up with people who bring you down so if I'm friends with you, then know that I do care about you. *hugs*

xoxo Mish
(wow I started this at 10:17am and now it's 11:02am!)

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